


Chemistry

by Loki_is_on_crack



Category: Original Work
Genre: Crack, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-25
Updated: 2012-06-25
Packaged: 2018-07-13 23:11:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7142078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Loki_is_on_crack/pseuds/Loki_is_on_crack
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Anything can be dirty if you approach it right.  Even High School Chemistry class.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Chemistry

Once upon a time, there were these two Sodium atoms, and they were totally bros. They had these two hot babes named Chlorine and Fluorine, and they'd occasionally swap charges with them, but their relationships had gotten boring, so they decided to see what else was out there.

One day, out in public, they happened upon the sluttiest Phosphorus atom they'd ever seen. Normally, Phosphorus is pretty eager, and seeing Phosphorus hook up with three other atoms at once is pretty common, but this one was hooking up with three Oxygen atoms and...

"Dude! That's your girlfriend," said one Sodium atom to the other.

Sodium looked on in shock, to see his girlfriend Fluorine up to her elbow in Phosphorus' M-shell. At the opposite end of Phosphorus, one of the Oxygen atoms had both hands in, up to both elbows.

"Five covalent bonds?" Sodium said to Sodium. "I didn't know that was even possible. I'm disgusted, repulsed, and yet I can't look away."

"Neither can I."

"You see those other two Oxygen atoms?"

"You mean the ones that _aren't_ double-fisting Phosphorus?"

"Yeah. See their charges? That Phosphorus isn't enough for them. I think they both have openings we can fill."

"The both of us? At once?"

"Hey, stop worrying, we'll be at opposite ends. It's not gay if our electrons don't touch."

And before long, Sodium and Sodium were vibrating up a storm in that electron-sharing orgy, and Oxygen and Oxygen were begging to be filled in the L-shells with Sodium's hot charges. Before long, Sodium and Sodium fired off their negative charges into that ion, and they were all satisfied and exhausted.

 

[Stories just like this one](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sodium_monofluorophosphate) happen untold billions of times -- in your mouth! -- every time you brush your teeth. I just thought you should know.


End file.
